Friday kudos!

I’m always so happy when some of my “work” gets picked up somewhere in our little community of sex bloggers. I am really tickled that Adam & Eve’s Broken Headboard‘s chose me for the second time as part of their Half-Nekkid Roundup! All of those contortions to beat the timer on my cell phone actually paid off. Thanks, y’all!


Aw Shucks! Sugasm #175

Wouldn’t you know it? I land in the top three just before Sugasm goes on an indefinite hiatus! I have to say…this is a real honor for me because there are so many excellent bloggers out there and all of the work was a-ma-zing! My entry was MFM: Frustration. Enjoy everyone’s though…makes for great Sunday reading!

This Week’s Picks
“Sometimes I miss you so much that I am pitiful.”

MFM: Frustration
“I feel the weight of someone kneeling between my legs.”

Give me one
“Give me your orgasm.”

Sugasm Editor
Fetish Fridays: Kidnapping

Editor’s Choice
In Which Steff Has The Worst Birthday Ever

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See more great reading below:

BDSM & Fetish
As luck would have it, I’m the luckiest slave alive.
My Introduction to Bondage
On Your Knees

Erotic Poetry

Sex Advice
What Does Sex Feel Like for a Woman?
Where in the world is my G Spot?

News, Reviews & Interviews
The Erotic Woman
Streaming the Golden Showers
Top Five Tuesday – Bloodsuckers

Sex Humor
Options. Confession #349

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
HNT: Clamps
Rock n’ Roll Princess ~HNT

Sex Politics
What the hell is “rape-rape”?

Erotic Writing & Experiences
Always Laurel
Girlfriend – Mandy
Mouth For War
Musing No. 33 – Waterfall
A Taste of Chocolate
What lies beneath

Bottom’s Up!

Just wanted to send a great big shout-out to Adam & Eve’s site Broken Headboard for including my Tutu Redux in their Friday HNT Roundup this week! I don’t know how they found me, but I’m flattered that they did! Thanks, Bree!

Another thank you to Southern Sage, for including me in his HNT Faves this week as well. My, I’m feeling quite flushed indeed!

Stealing the Honest Scrap Award

Okay, it isn’t actually stealing because (notice, FFG that I did NOT use the word “since”) my BFF Femme Fairy Godmother tagged me for this award for one of my *other* blogs (which I will not post a link to here since it will immediately give away not only my identity, but also that of everyone I’ve ever known, from my mom to my methadone junkie next door neighbors). This morning I read her highly amusing piece that was entirely ripped off from another highly amusing blogger, Martini Cartwheels. Seriously funny. So funny that I decided to carjack the original idea and do my own version. One that befits a sex blogger. Watch Reality TV much?

1. Survivor: My first instinct was to say that I could totally sleep my way to the top three but then I have no sense of balance so I’d end up losing out to the final two, hands down. Then I realized that I am so not 24 anymore (that’s an age reference, not a reference to another show because this is reality TV and I hear that show has a woman president now) and prancing around in a bikini in the shape that I’m in would make me the new Richard Hatch. Following that train of thought, it is true that going on Survivor is possibly the best diet trick in the world. Last tangential thought on trying to screw my way through to a million bucks? Aside from the woman named “Truck” (or some such thing) with the mullet and headband and possibly some of the old or fat guys who might get really desperate after 15 days or so…we’re talking about blonde femmes (ewwwww) and young studs ( “cougar” anyone?). I guess Survivor is out.

2. The Amazing Race: I am all about travel so this would be an ideal show regardless of the fact that you are zipping through foreign countries faster than you can say “lesbian fuckbuddies” and don’t even have time to linger in Amsterdam to do some window shopping (wink, wink). Also, given the fact that I would so definitely take Norway with me because she has traveled to like, everywhere, (she thinks Iceland rocks) we probably wouldn’t get out of the starting gate because we’d be fucking all night in our first hotel stop and we’d sleep through the alarm the next morning.

3. American Idol: Given that we’ve already established that I can’t wear a bikini, that tried-and-true method of making it to Hollywood is out of the question. I can’t stomach trying to seduce Simon or Randy, and Cara just scares me. That leaves us with Ellen (thank God because the thought of going down on Paula Abdul just makes me nauseous) who I think might just forget about her anorectic wife long enough to slip behind the backdrop with me for a quickie. But even with her vote, that’s one out of four and although I can hold a tune enough to be in my church choir (a real church, which is not like “she’s a member of *our* church,” which is also like *a friend of Dorothy*…see? Tangential.) I doubt that my version of “Old Time Religion” will win over the hearts of millions.

4. I’m only doing five of these, I promise. WipeOut: I fucking love this show. There is nothing better than watching people get seriously injured while humiliating themselves on national television. I can’t do anything remotely sexual to get further than the interview with yet another gorgeous femme. While I may ask her what shade of lipstick she’s wearing, I so cannot bring myself to do the “femme/femme” thing, especially not for a paltry $50,000. I am such an old school dyke. Really.

5. Big Brother: I am the queen of drama and totally adept at mind games and can really pull off being your best friend one minute while stabbing you in the neck with a fork the next (FFG, you have nothing to worry about, I love you darling!). While sexcapades abound on this show, the night vision camera is so terribly unflattering that I wouldn’t even audition.

Okay…5 fast fucks to make it an even 10:

6. America’s Next Top Model: Strapping it on for an aspiring supermodel is like sleeping with a bicycle. All bones and knees and elbows. Next!

7. The Apprentice: I wouldn’t blow the Donald even if he put me in his will to get half his empire. I *might* consider it if he granted me an all-day, all expenses paid shopping trip through the ever-so-chic shops in Trump Tower. Then again, *gag*

8. Project Runway: Has there been a leather fetish designer yet? If not, I’m so on the list. How hard can it be to spray latex on a mannequin and roll her down the runway, trussed up like Hannibal Lecter?

9. The Biggest Loser: I really only need to lose about 30 lbs. so I doubt I’d even be let on the show, but if I were, it would be fun to try and pull off the food scene from 9 1/2 weeks with granola bars and protein shakes.

10. Can they create a lesbian version of the Bachelor? FFG might do this show because she wants a girlfriend and she’s already slept with all the women within a 50 mile radius of her hometown (I kid, woman, I kid! Sort of.). I also said that as her best friend I would go down on her if all the lights were out and she could pretend I was super butch. Sadly, I think she’d still toss me immediately. I’m too short.

Tooting my own horn

I just wanted to stick a shameless plug in here. Every week Blue-eyed Vixen posts her Friday faves and darlings, I showed up in my very first week back on the block! I’m tickled pink-ish. Vixen is extraordinarily talented and takes the most beautiful photographs. I am ever in awe of her work — not to mention her body-to-die-for. She certainly has great subject matter to work with. I doubt there are many stopping by here that don’t know her, but if you need to get acquainted, get thee there NOW!

Thanks again, V, I’m truly honored.